As much as I was trying to pretend it wasn't father's day today, we all remembered. My heart breaks for Shayne. He was the most incredible dad to Christi and thankfully continues to be one to Shayla. My own selfishness made me miss my own father so much today. I wish I could pick up the phone and wish him a "Happy Father's Day". Shayne spent a lot of time helping Shayla work with Skeeter at the barn today while I (again) spent hours on my paper. Just like Christi did on her last Father's Day, Shayla made Shayne a card with pictures of animals. In this picture, Shayne is in our bathroom holding Christi around the time of her first birthday. He went to show her in the mirror how cute she looked with "her shades". I miss that little sunshine! Those were glorious days!
Listed below you will find three video clips from "The Wiz", if you'd like to see "Mooch" in action.
I realized it was finally time to delete the text messages I had received from Shayne off of the phone from those dreaded, painful final weeks of Christi's life. I decided to put them here, just so I wouldn't lose them. Maybe some day it won't be so hurtful to go back and relive those last precious weeks with our little princess, but it still is now.
August 24, 2006: Do you want to go to the movie Barnyard tonight?
August 28, 2006 (3:41 AM) She woke up at 3 and said she hurt, but she's still in a great mood. I gave her three Motrin. 150 miles till Philly yet.
August 28th, 2006 (5:49 AM): We are here at CHOP. Gonna nap a minute till she wakes me. Luv ya.
August 28th, 2006: In hospital now. Gonna get counts then meet Dr. maris. Spoke with Pat. Christi is feeling fine. Did Motrin at 7:30 for her hip pain.
August 28th: (12:20 PM) Just checked into the Ronald House. Heading back to CHOP.
August 28th (2PM) Dox today, switch to new chemo cocktail tomorrow. Maybe add Zometa later. Dr. Kushner recommends ICE.
August 28th (3PM) We are buying purple potty people at UPenn bookstore.
August 29th (12:27 PM) She is very tired, not a lot of pain though, but still uncomfortable. We have almost read all of the Captain Underpants book we bought. Got injection now and then back to bookstore.
August 29th (3:30 PM) At Vet Hospital.
August 29th (4:45 PM) That was a fun visit. We got drenched walking back to Ronald which made us scrap the pod restaurant idea, boo hoo. She is hungry now of course.
August 30th (8:25 AM) We are in the waiting room. She is trying to sleep. Mostly she rested well last night with some bad break through pain.
August 30th (8:54 AM) Just starting the MIBG scan. She gave our favorite tech the sponge bob she brought for her.
August 30th (8:59AM) Skull DEFINITELY packed with cancer.
August 30th (9:05AM) Shoulders worse, but not packed.
August 30th (9:08 AM) Looks like it is only in her marrow. It covers the majority of the top.
August 30th (9:15AM) Can't tell about the liver. I would guess that it is still there, but not huge.
August 30th (9:18AM) Hips are full. So is her bladder, but "Noooooo, she didn't have to go!" (Always a joke with us. Christi would NEVER have to go to the bathroom when she really should have, but when she had to go, she would RACE to get there! We said she had a bladder of steel because she could hold it for the longest time!!)
August 30th: She's resting comfortably now.
August 30th: I should have said pelvis is full. The hip bone marrow is involved.
August 30th: Visible in the legs too.
August 30th (9:25) : She just sat up and stared at the screen.
August 30th (9:28 AM) Left leg worse than right.
August 30th (9:34 AM) They're rescanning her head. Why?
August 30th (9: ) I would say that there are new or larger spots in her liver.
August 30th (9:53 AM). She is feeling well. Eating breakfast in the cafeteria now.
August 30th (11:36 AM) We are going to stay through Tuesday at least in Philly. Going to a different pain med. Getting all of the drugs today. Giving zometa also today.
August 30th: (11:50 AM) Disease is worse everywhere. Liver lesions larger, spine involved, not brain.
August 30th (11:55 AM). She is still hungry so I'm gonna chase food. Luv ya.
September 1, 2006 (6:42 PM). She is sleeping right now, resting up for your arrival.
September 1, 2006 (7PM) OK. Fly safe. Sorry you're delayed. Don't talk to any hurricanes you dont' know and absolutely no hitchhiking!
September 1, 2006 (7:15 PM) Right now Dr. Maris feels cautiously optimist that we've stopped the disease spread. He perfroms to not do any more chemo until Tuesday when we will do dox again.
September 1, 2006 (7:18 PM) If the disease stabilizes than maris would send us home on cyclo and all the other junk. Right now she is up and down with pain. TH left leg keeps her immobilized.THe main thing right now is boredom and fatigue. She could really use some entertainment. I just can't figure out what she wants. The fatigue must be the meds.
September 1, 2006 (9:46 PM). Call me when you near the Ronald gates. I will let you in.
September 2, 2006 (1:28 PM). You two alright? Shayla and I are down the hall in the TV room.
September 2, 2006 (4:19 PM ) She can take the dilaudid again. Give her hte full dose with the zofran. In the blue lid I believe is on the night stand.
September 2, 2006 (4:26 PM) Email Maris because this is new pain and seems to be increasing.
September 3, 2006 (12:13 AM). She is resting comfortably. I am sooo sad. I no longer fear hell because it can't be worse than this.
September 3, 2006 (12: 30 AM) I am sorry we can't figure this damn disease out. My mind has been spinning with possible options. Nothing seem promising for treatment though.
September 3, 2006 (12:40 AM) Maybe we will get clarity with maris tomorrow. I can't decide if we throw oen more big shot at the disease or if we just go home.
September 3, 2006 (12:43 AM) Yes, gave her 3mg at 11:30PM and needed it.)
September 3, 2006 (12:44 AM) Eric sent me a picture of a burrito to cheer me up and it made me bawl.
September 3, 2006 (12:45 AM) I am going to try to sleep again. So hard. Luv you.
September 5, 2006 (2:18 AM) She is fine. Just went "number one". She is sleeping sound and pain free now.
September 6, 2006 (4:57 PM) She's up!
September 7, 2006 (11:15 PM) She woke up fine, took her meds, seems very comfortable. She even had a few witty remarks.
September 10, 2006 (11:09 PM) She just got up and went to the real bathroom. No pain. Pretty witty. Now sleeping again. Best moves in days.
September 11, 2006 (1:06 AM) She's up and around again, feeling much better. Some leg pain, but good mind.
September 14, 2006 (5:32 PM) How is Christi?
September 14, 2006 (6:28 PM) On my way to hospital. Need anything?
Christi died in that bed at 9:00 AM on September 19th as Shayne sat to her left side and I sat facing her, on her bed, at her thighs.