Oh, Baby!

PICTURE: Christi, sitting in a little chair checking out a book, age almost three.

Due to having a teachers’ meeting in Columbus Friday night, Shayla and I thrilled we were able to catch Traci (aka “Hariett”) at COSI for a bit (where Traci had a scavenger hunt waiting for Shayla to play - amazing!) and then we dropped by to see Jenn’s son. Oh, baby, he’s a sweetie! Before we headed south, I showed Shayla the prayer blanket of Christi’s I deiced to give this wonderful baby. It just seemed really appropriate as so many prayers were lifted up for him for so long. Shayla went to Christi’s bedroom and selected a little beanie baby off of Christi’s bed to give him too. We then stopped at “Baby Gap” on the way and picked up a little outfit to welcome the little joy. He is so cute and I’m thrilled we got to see him for a bit. It was so emotional for me thinking of all that had to take place to get him; we wish for him a long healthy life filled with joy and peace!

Traci spoiled Shayla at “Build a Bear” and at “Claires” while I was at my meeting. Upon my return, we enjoyed a board game. Traci is the most incredible woman. I don't think she'll ever realize how much we love and adore her; she's so special to us.

I’m continuing to struggle with “stomach problems”. My first “attack” was in mid-October when I thought it was food poisoning. I’ve since been to the doctor a couple of times and have some medications, even though I’m theoretically opposed to taking meds and think I should be able to control this with diet. I know my doctor told me increased age and stress are factor. Despite the fact I’m busy it is all by choice now (unlike living with cancer) and I happen to think this busy life is a picnic compared to the stress involved in years of Christi’s care. He believes it’s built up and I was under incredible stress for so long. (I no longer wake up in the middle of the night and run down to her room thinking she died without me by her side. That stress is gone! I think I am so much better, but he's probably right and the damage has been done to my stomach lining.) Since October I’ve had about one “attack” (nausea, a hard, swollen stomach and vomiting) a month; however, they’ve increased in frequency recently. I had one Wednesday night, Thursday night and Saturday afternoon. It always the same pattern, the pain in my stomach – right under my rib cage, is terrible, then the cramping and vomitting begin. I’m not exactly certain what’s up, but I don’t like this recent trend and they come on so strong and so hard, it’s scary. I cry to Shayne as I’m bent over in pain, “I just want to die,” yet I fully realize that my pain is nothing compared to my friend, Lori’s, and also to the countless days Christi didn’t feel so well, yet just wanted to play and be a little girl. I try to think of that and tell myself to just tough it out. I hope things improve.