Here I am, Lord
I went into the church to celebrate my niece's Sacrament of Confirmation thinking it'd be a joyous afternoon at church on Sunday. Little did I know one little song would "set me off" and I'd end up hanging out in the ladies' room crying my eyes out. Although I had "moments" earlier that just made me take deep breaths wondering about Christi and how excited and happy she'd be that Shelby was making another Sacrament in the Catholic Church, I didn't know a huge wave would soon roll over and crush me. One of the songs played was "Here I Am, Lord". This was a song I selected for Christi's funeral because she knew all the words and I loved to hear her little voice sitting beside me in church singing it. When it started up on Sunday, it was just like her little white coffin was slowly rolling right up the aisle in church again for her funeral mass and a wave of grief took a strong hold. Shayla, the most compassionate little one, was a sweetie. When I returned to our pew she said, "You look so sad, mom. What happened?" I told her and then she smiled, hugged me and said with total confidence, "Mom! That just means Christi is with us!" She hugged and comforted me for the longest time. I'm so blessed to have Shay in my life! Thank you, dearest Lord! 
Shelby joking around with her sponsor, her sister, Ashley
A fine looking crew! Ashley's loving being out of state at college. It was fabulous to see her - and all of my sister's family - again!
There were about 40 pictures taken on Sunday. "Orbs" only appeared in two of them. In this one and the one at the bottom here. Always interesting.
Shayla loves her cousins so much!
Shelby with her Godparents (Aunt Marty and Shayne)
PHOTO: Christi's 6th birthday - Disney World (Shelby, Shay & Christi - May 2003) I just love her bald little head! It always smelled so good!!FUNNY: At church Shayla counted the number of kids making their Sacrament. She said, "Mom, there are 205! It's a good thing we don't have to go to communion too. That would take forever!" I said, "Shayla, did you see what the priest is doing at the alter now?" (He was preparing for communion.) The look on her face was priceless! What a hoot!
Congratulations, Shelby!P
posted by the Thomas team @ 7:09 PM
7 Comments:
Congratulations on your very special day, Shelby!
Angela, my heart goes out to you. There is nothing I can say to bring back Christi but she is loved very much by so many.
Shayla, you are wise beyond your years. And one of the sweetest people I know.
Many hugs.
They played "Hear I am Lord" at a close family friend's funeral last March and it sent me into complete hysterics! Continuing to pray for you all!
Susan Simpson
Congratulations to Shelby on her special sacrament. I'm sorry you had a hard time at church Angela. That song always gets to me, the words are so powerful. I can't just imagine how you would feel hearing it. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
That song does it everytime! I attended another young lady here locally that was killed in an schoolbus accident and they selected that same song at her funeral, it was so surreal!
Post like this really touches my heart, but Shayla always comes back w/ a whammy to put that smile back on your face!
Between the orbs and the song it sounds like Christi was there with you for her cousin's confirmation. Congratulations to your family on such a big event!
God Bless you Shayla, way to be there for your precious Mom. I get goosebumps everytime I hear a story about how you are such a sweetie! We are blessed to have you and all of the stories your Mom shares with us! Praying for you Angela, you are such a strong woman! Bless you all!
For me it is "Be Not Afraid". It brings me to tears each time. It is my dad I most closely associate the song with, but we played it at Kendall's funeral as well. I remember when I was younger learning the song, and finding it so comforting. Often, when I was afraid, I would hum or sing it softly to myself.... until I heard it played at my father's funeral. I had not really associated the song with death until then for some reason (probably, because no one really close to me had died previously). Thereafter, that song just crushed me.
Thank you to Shayla for giving me some new insight. Maybe now the song won't be so painful. Such a bright girl.
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