Dying with Dignity
Pictures: Angela & Christi (April 2006) Baby Christi (1997)
Christi continued to be very uncomfortable throughout the night. She received a platelet transfusion about 6 AM and that’s when we learned her LDH was even higher (17,288). After assisting with Christi’s clumsy body and getting her back to bed after using the restroom I pointed out to Shayne and the nurses that her eyes looked exactly as they did before she had her seizures Friday night and her motions and behavior were the same too. Sure enough, she seized. I’m so sorry Shayne had to witness that as it is a horrid and helpless feeling to watch your child shake uncontrollably right before your very eyes.
The LDH and the seizure led Shayne and I to the conclusion to ditch the radiation (torture) scheduled for today and to let her die with dignity. Dr. Maris was in this morning to again patiently talk with us about end of life issues and to remind us that no parent could live through a greater hell. He believes it will be sooner rather than later.
Shayne and I continue to cry oceans of tears. I never expected it to hurt this bad – and yet I have learned that the real pain hits 4-6 months after the child’s death when others expect you to go on with your life even though life will never be the same. I just love and adore this sweetheart who because of the circumstances became my best friend since we spent so much time together. As I sit here beside her bed, I look at her painted fingernails and remember just weeks ago when we sat on the floor painting each other's nails.
We will forever be grateful to all who have helped us over the past four years. We are truly unworthy. We consider ourselves richly blessed. Our prayer request is for Christi’s precious little soul and that this little child of God has a peaceful transition to Heaven.
posted by The Binary Biker @ 12:56 PM
33 Comments:
I will pray for that and for you. You are very strong and from what I have read over the past hour since I have found your blog, you and your daughter have fought like prize fighters. I looked through your album on her site and, even being a total stranger to you and your family, I can see that you gave her a full life.
I have written and rewritten.....looking for a fitting comment. There isn't one. I have no words to express how devastated I am for you and your family. I am not religious...but today I WILL pray for a peaceful journey for your amazingly beautiful and brave daughter.
You are in my thoughts today, and I am fervently hoping for peace for all of you.
Sending love from California . . .
My thoughts and prayers are with you all, and especially Christi. Such a brave girl that has inspired the world.
Robin Brunet, Bradford, Ontario Canada
My thoughts and prayers are with you all, and especially Christi. Such a brave girl that has inspired the world.
Robin Brunet, Bradford, Ontario Canada
Angela and Shayne,
We are keeping Miss Christi and your family in our constant prayers as we go about our day.
Praying for comfort and peace,
The Cooley Family
My heart is just breaking for you -please know that your tears are mixed with those of countless others whose lives Christi has touched. It must be so hard to reconcile - she is "going to a better place" but how can anywhere other than the arms of her parents be a better place?
Hold each other close, know that so many are sending you love and will be there for you when you need it.
I am praying relentless for a peaceful, painfree transition for Christi. How glad I am that your sweet girl will be without pain and know nothing but happiness and love in her Heavenly home, but how sad I am that the pain will now be yours to bear!
I have never met you Christi, but you have left an impression on me that will last my lifetime! I love you!
With love, admiration and endless appreciation for sharing your sweet child -
Kim
Came upon your blog by accident, but I will certainly pray for this dear little one!
sarahdarnell.blogspot.com
When I read yesterday's update I had a feeling today might follow.
My dear, dear Christi. Thank you for allowing me to share in your journey. God speed sweetie. I know that the angels are surrounding you. Be at peace. No more pain. I'll see you on the other side. Enjoy the rainbow bridge! Love you much. xoxo
Shayne and Angela.....there are no words. Love you too.
~ Sylvia
Dear Angela and Shayne,
Words cannot express the sorrow I feel that you are facing these issues. I'm praying for courage and peace for you both, and that Christi's pain is controlled.
Much love,
Candace (Benjamin's mom)
www.caringbridge.org/co/benjaminmason
I will pray as you ask us to pray - for a peaceful passing for Christi when it is her time to go. It so breaks my heart to pray those words. At the same time that I am praying to God to bring Christi peace, in the back of my mind I am still praying for her miracle.
Lord, we pray for Christi's family as they are faced with the pain of continuing their journey through this life without her. We pray for their peace and understanding of Your will. May Your mighty hands hold them steady and give them strength. Fold Your loving arms around Christi and bring her comfort and peace until it is time for her to go Home. May she carry with her every bit of love that she has been shown here on earth. Thank you, Lord, for gracing our lives with such a truly beautiful spirit.
Consider your prayer request filled.
I'm sorry to hear that Dr. Maris and ou guys were talking about the end of life. My thoughts are with you guys. In my thoughts I hope that it is later then sooner. I will ball will I hear Christi passed. I just hope she gets better and into remission. Sit tight, hopefully it will happen. You to are great parents. But then again, maybe we should let fly whats ganna fly...Have a great rest of the week. I'll be praying for Christi and thinking of her every minute. :) Get well lil princess.
There are no words that will suffice. Please know that you are in my thoughts and constant prayers for peace as you face this torment that no parent should ever know. Peace and God's blessings to the precious Christi that we have all come to love.
-Bonnie Rhodes
I'm crying tears here in columbus, ohio for Angela, shayne, Shayla, and for christi's pain.
Know that we are all praying for that peaceful transition into the arms of our Lord & Savior.
I sang "Blue Skies" by Point of Grace for Christi today, while in the car on the way to work. I wish I could sing it to her in person.
Oh how my heart breaks with and for you today.
No child could have any better parents than Christi does in you and Shayne. You've done everything and then some for your precious sweetheart.
I pray that her transition to Heaven would be nothing but peaceful. And for strength for you and Shayne.
All of you have richly blessed my life.
With love, prayers and tears,
Heather
Oh My Goodness ... my HEART is CRUSHED for your entire family and for an amazing child who has graced this World and those of us who "KNOW" her with kindness, love, dignity and strength! My prayers are for your family! I have NO words that will ease any amount of pain - just know that if I could be there for you in person I would hold your hands and wipe your tears ... God Bless You Sweet Chrisit - I pray you no longer struggle with pain! Heaven will be blessed with such an amazing Young Lady - but then again God already knows ALL about you ... I am SO SO sorry Thomas Team ... You remain in my thoughts and prayers always!
Rebekah from Prior Lake Minnesota!
I am new to your site - your beautiful angel and very sweetest best friend will know that you are there with your hugs to make her better - she will understand when it is time for her to pass from your hug to the arms of Jesus and Christi will know with complete certainty that the wellness you accompanied her to can not be compared to anything here on Earth! God's light will shine through her and on you and she will be your strength, as you have been hers through this long journey - my heart breaks for you, I am so very, very sorry - please God, why another beautiful child? Praying for peace for Christi, strength for her parents and solace for her little sister - I wish there was so much more I could do.
Shayne & Angela,
I know that you have said that you'd love nothing more than for your girls to turn out to be just like me. The funny thing is, I want to be just like Christi.
She is absolutely incredible. In the past 4 years she has taught me so much...words could do no justice, but they'll have to.
She has taught me what is important. My priorities have began to straighten themselves out. I know that no matter how much my heart is hurting and no matter much I'd like to run and hide at times, Christi has endured more than I probably ever will. I know that I need to grit my teeth and keep on truckin'. I have learned to embrace life and live it to the fullest...of course without forgetting to dance and tell a few jokes along the way.
I think, perhaps, most importantly, her journey has taught me that I have a purpose, a major purpose. I have been here for you from the beginning, praying through the tears, the highs and the lows. Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter and family with me. Thank you for the dreams, the laughs and the memories. I will forever cherish them.
I love you so much Thomas Team.
Love, Jennifer
I wish so much that I could do something for all of you. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. My heart is ACHING for you and little Christi. :(
Oh sweet Thomas Team. I will continue to keep you close in my prayers.
-Brooke, in Logan, UT.
Dear Thomas Team,
I have followed your family for a very long time. I check on Christi every day to see how she is doing. Todays update hurt my heart. I just want you to know that I think you are both absolutely amazing parents and your family is just wonderful. I want you to know I am praying for you all just like so many others are. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful daughter with all of us. May God bless you all.
Christi is the sweetest, most precious little girl in the world (and I have two of my own). You are all in my prayers,
When our daughter died 11 months ago, the pastor in the room with us said, "She'll close her eyes here, and open them in Heaven." I imagined my little girl touching the face of God, and it comforted me.
I am praying hard for you all. I am asking my little girl to help greet yours on the other side.
Heartbroken with you,
Cheryl
www.caringbridge.org/ga/haley
Dear Jesus and sweet Angel Alex, please gently hold Christi's hands and heart tonight.
WE LOVE YOU THOMAS TEAM
XOXOXO
Brigid and Celie
Love to you all. I pray that she goes gently and not so soon that she can't enjoy a little more time with those who love her.
-Sarah Smail
Dearest Christi,
Thank you for blessing my life more than you will ever know sweet girl.
You are amazing and courageous!
I love you!
Lots of love and prayers,
Heather
poor, brave, sweet girl. i am just so sad, for her and for you all. i pray for the softest wings to fly her to heaven. no more pain for this beautiful little warrior.
but god how it hurts us who have been touched by her here on earth...
I have been following your site for quite sometime. Although, I have never written before I thought for sure Christi would pull through. My heart hurts for you so very much. You ALL will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Dottie
Mary, you have been there before me,
weary and worn out from the long vigil,
saddened by the pain of your loved one,
heartbroken over what you could not change.
Your valiant stance beneath the cross
tells me of your unceasing love.
Long years of unfailing faith upheld you.
Kind friends by your side sustained you.
I, too, am standing with a loved one
who hangs upon the cross of suffering.
I too am powerless to help.
Teach me how to stand beneath this cross.
Woman of Compassion, Mother of Sorrows,
I draw inspiration from your journey.
I, too, can move through the pain of my present situation.
Your faith and courage lead me to my own.
~ Joyce Rupp
Angela and Shayne...
The offer to be with you still stands...at any hour. (610-437-0819) Please rub Christi's feet for me and hug her for me.
love you.
Angela, Shayne, Shayla and Christi...
I am so sorry. There is really no other words. Know that Christi's sweet spirit will live on here at the Hope House...she is truly a miracle child. Asking the Lord to bestow his peace and comfort on all of you today.
Love,
Mark and Mylissa
www.habitatforhope.org
May the Great Comforter fill your souls with peace and love, knowing that your daughter is going to be in the arms of the Saviour, free from pain.
Know in your hearts how many people are praying for your family and your friends...and for Christi.
From God's heart to yours...
I am so sorry that Christi is going through all of this now it is so unfair...
I have been a silent follower till this post but I have been praying for sweet Christi a lot lately and the rest of the family also. I have a 9 year old and I just can't imagine going through this with him so I can't imagine what you are feeling right now.
Still praying....
Terri
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