Support For Christi Thomas

This blog is to help offer support to the Thomas Family and their daughter, Christi, in her battle against cancer. Please visit Christi's website at to learn more. There, you'll find journals, photos and a lots of other information about this amazing child and her family.

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Friday, September 07, 2007

Tossing It Out

Cindy crops Christi's hair for the first time, September 2002 (age 5)
Jan. 2006 in 4th grade

I couldn't bring myself to throw out the bag of Christi's hair clippings so I asked Shayne to do it for me. While it's terribly difficult to part with anything that was Christi's, I figure it must be done as to spare someone else from having to do it later in life (most likely Shayla). I vividly remember when Cindy came to the hospital in February of 2006 (just like she did in September of 2002 when she came to our home) to crop off Christi's hair in preparation for the chemo to burn the rest of it out. Christi was the saddest I'd ever seen her when I told her at CHOP that her cancer was going to once again require heavy duty chemo and she'd be bald again. When I asked her if she was crying because she was hurting, or because she was sad about her sudden and dramatic change in health, she said, "I'm just so sad." Those are painful memories that just won't go away. When Cindy cut her hair off she wanted it to be donated to "Locks for Love" because she knew of many who had donated their hair to that group. Of course Cindy and I told her that's exactly what would be done with it; we didn't have the heart to tell her that it wasn't long enough to do anything with it. She later cracked us up by saving a few clips and putting them in very tiny plastic bags. She passed them out to her relatives as "souveniers" - most likely "little did she know".....

Christi, age 4, plays "beauty parlour" with our friends' daughter Kristen. THIS is what I need to remember.


At 8/9/07 12:13 AM, Anonymous Melissa Schmatz said...

Thomas Team,
My prayers and thoughts are with you constantly during this time, when I know your very souls must be challenged to go on. I would have loved the priveledge to know Christi. Please know that not a day goes by when I do not think of her and whether I am "living my life to the fullest." That philosophy has helped to guide me in more life decisions than you could ever know. Your angel daughter continues her good work from above!!!
May God hold you and keep your hearts close as you continue to find your way through these days.

Love from Buffalo,

At 8/9/07 12:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just would like to add, your daughter, Christi is so beautiful as is your daughter, Shayla. You have (from what I can see, an amazing wonderful husband and father to his children.) I (from my own experiences) believe that God only takes the one's that are EXTRA special to him early. Our purpose in life is simply to get to heaven as life here on earth is nothing but a test at best, it is certainly not the ultimate end of any of our reason on earth. Someome told me at a time during my loss, "the reason you hurt is due to your wanting them here, they are fine and in our minds we know that.. Peace always

At 8/9/07 12:33 AM, Blogger Spring Barnickle said...

Sweet Angela and Shayne, I'm so sorry for all the pain you're going through. The pictures and stories you share are so bittersweet, your love and grief so evident in your words. But thank you so much for sharing them -- it means a great deal.

I remember the drive to Ohio for the funeral; it was pouring rain with muddy gray skies, and it was so cold. The temperature dropped 20 degrees between Nashville and Cincinnati. I told my husband that I thought it was a fitting way to spend the 12 hours driving there because that was exactly how my heart felt -- muddy, gray, and cold -- with tears streaming down my face.

This few weeks preceding the one year mark feel like that drive. Part of me wishes the Tennessee skies would just open up and the temperature would drop. But tonight I read the caption on your picture: "THIS is what I need to remember." Maybe the record high temperatures and constant sunshine are just what Christi wants for her one year anniversary in heaven. She never lived as if gray skies were closing in, and I don't think she'd want everyone focused on what her final weeks on earth were like. She would want us focused on all the times she smiled that precious smile.

I'm going to try. I feel so blessed that you have shared so many pictures on her web site and blog because it makes it easy to find a thousand different Christi smiles. I am still very sad right now, but I promise you and Christi to try to focus on her good days over the next few weeks. Thanks for giving her so many, Angela, Shayne, and Shayla.

Love you,

At 8/9/07 6:40 AM, Blogger Lisa said...

Hi - its lovely that you've kept this blog - its heartening to be able to pray for you through this time. I put a little clipping of Ronnies hair in a locket. Love and prayers for you all.

At 8/9/07 7:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


"Sorrow looks behind, worry looks around, and faith looks up.”
Here's hoping that you, Shayne and Shayla find comfort in the difficult day around the corner. Know that others close to you and those of us that don't even know your family will be thinking of you and praying for you.
Remember the good memories you shared. Try to forget the painful ones as difficult as they were. It makes me sad to know that you are still struggling so with your grief. I hope the pain will be a bit less and the good times take your heart over and bury your saddness. I have never posted before but I wanted you that I am thinking of you all and praying for you to have peace and comfort.
In friendship-

At 9/9/07 8:32 AM, Blogger Mara said...

You are right. If not taken care of now, someone else will be left someday with the difficult tasks of what to keep in the future. And I'm not referring to the obvious keepers: favorite things and clothes in the room but to the little extraneous things that one would never give a thought to but in this case are invested with great sentiment and significance. For me, these are things like Laura's toothbrush, her last can of ginger ale at home (still have the can), and even (I know I'm extreme) some of her medical supplies. (I am getting rid of most but seem to feel the need to keep a few of them around) As I pick through the things, I feel like I get a message for each: get rid of this and keep that for now. I think about your family every day and always read the blog as do some of my coworkers who are Christi fans here in NJ.
mother of neuroblastoma angel Laura
Oct 27, 1994-Dec 22, 2006)

At 9/9/07 6:45 PM, Blogger Olivia said...

This post brought tears to my eyes. Reading how Christi wanted to donate her hair to Locks of Love-- always thinking of others, even in the midst of her immense pain-- is simply amazing. There are simply no words to describe Christi. Thank you for sharing this story. As always, you help bring everything into perspective.


At 9/9/07 10:47 PM, Blogger Staci said...

I'm sorry that you had to let that little piece of Christi go... That must have been so hard. Im also sorry that your back is hurting again. I hope you can feel better soon!!

I thought of Christi today. We have an annual festival in my town called "Septemberfest". The past couple of years there has been an Alex's lemonade stand. This year, when i dropped the $$ in i thougth of Christi and Alex. They said "thank you" and i said, No, Thank you.

My heart and prayers are with you this month...

Staci C. in NJ


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