Another Day - Another "Lump"
The punch to the stomach "hit" early this morning - as soon as I woke Christi up. I asked her how she felt and she said her jaw hurt. I felt it; sure enough - another blasted lump! Sickening! It appears this is a now a freight train and I can't think of any treatment strong ehough to stop the beast now. I cried until my first class of students walked in. I'm so tired, yet I can't really sleep. Maybe tonight (Oh, I'm getting up at 4:00 AM to get to the airport, maybe tomorrow - oh, that will be the Ronald House - hopefully, and I never really sleep well there either. Hopefully, soon. I feel beyond exhausted - yet can't truly sleep. I'm so scared.) The only comfort I have right now is that she really feels super! Praise Him!!
The pic was taken of Christi with her sweet class at school today.
CHOP called today to inform me that again - for the third time, our insurance company is denying this latest clinical trial (Just like they did the last three types of treatment.) because it is experimental and unproven. (So, how is the cure going to ever be found?!) I hung up and immediately called my "Personal Banker". "SHAYNE!!!!! I have to go to a financial meeting tomorrow at CHOP to set up payment plans!" Thankfully, I came home from work tonight and learned he called them and is preparing the needed papers so I don't have to go to any meeting on finances. (Whew! Another great reason why I sleep with my banker!)
Christi's teacher told me today that during "Morning Meeting" she spoke about her cancer - something she rarely, rarely does. She said, "Tomorrow, I have to go to Philadelphia for Dr. Maris to tell us if this chemo is working or if we have to try something different. I don't want to miss Valentine's Day." (She did freak out for a moment while making the valentines this weekend and state that she did not want to miss her class valentine's party because it's her favorite party and she really wants to be there. Oh, why can't she just be a normal kid and not have these worries?!) When the classes suggested mailing their valentines to her, it didn't seem to satisfy her, Caroline said. (We should know soon; I pray she's back home and in school - time will tell.)
I am sooooooooooooooo incredibly grateful that my friend, Shari, is going with us tomorrow. While I wish we'd just be dashing off for a "girls day in Philly" or something fun, I do know that I am truly blessed to have such a great friend to be there with me as I fully expect to learn of the worst news we've experienced thus far throughout Christi's journey.
The photo was taken at school today.
posted by the Thomas team @ 9:32 PM
35 Comments:
Oh Thomas Team, life is SO unfair! Wishing you safe travels and hoping a miracle will be found at CHOP!
In ignorance, I pray that these bumps are reactions to the treatment. Praying that they are some sort of allergic reaction.
With you in spirit and heart.
Lean on "us"
Love,
Eliza
Have a safe trip girls. Come back with good news! I don't know what else to say, I'm still praying. My heart aches for you and Shayne. I love you guys. And remember, we can be there in 2 hours, if you need a babysitter. Or entertainment. Or pizza. Love you!
-Traci
Thomas team,
I hate to hear of more bad news for such an incredible family. I'm a friend of Traci's (or is that Harriet? I never can remember) and have been following Christi's treatments since she was diagnosed.
Know that my family and I are praying for all of you every day.
Love,
Sarah
(formerly Gretchen Snodgrass, president of the Explorer's Society) :)
I am praying for you as you travel to CHOP and hoping the Lord will provide you with His perfect peace, His unfailing wisdom, and His unconditional love as you go through this trying time. Christi, keep feeling well and smiling so beautifully!
This just makes me sick to my stomach. She LOOKS soooo healthy. My heart hurts for your entire family. I know that no words will do...just know that we are all praying our hardest...constantly. Never cease praying...
Love, Jennifer
praying for you guys tommorow. :-)
susie
Just a song I know to help along the way...my thoughts and prayers are continously with you all!
HOLD ON (From the secret garden..the musical)
What you've got to do is finish what you have begun
I don't know just how, but it's not over til you've won
When you see the storm is comin', see the lightning part the skies, it¹s too late to run
There¹s terror in your eyes what you do then is remember this old thing you heard me say
It's the storm, not you, that's bound to blow away
Hold on, hold on, the night will soon be by, hold on, don¹t even ask how long or why
Child, hold on to what you know is true, hold on til you get through, child, oh child.... Hold on
When you feel your heart is poundin', fear the devil's at your door, there's no place to hide
You're frozen to the floor what you do then, is you force yourself to wake up, and you say
It's this dream, not me, that's bound to go away
Hold on, hold on, the night will soon be by, hold on, until there's nothing left to try
Child, hold on, there's angels on their way, hold on and hear them say, child, oh child,
And it doesn't even matter if the danger and the doom come from up above
Or down down below, or just come flyin' at you from across the room
When you see a man who's ragin' and he¹s jealous and he fears
That you¹ve walked through walls he's hid behind for years
What you do then is you tell yourself to wait it out you say:
It's this day, not me, that's bound to go away, child, hold on
It's this day, not you that's bound to go away
Praying and praying some more!
Dear Angela & family, there really are no words of comfort I can think to give you that will take away what you're going through right now, but please know that all over the world there are people praying for you, and holding your hands, even if we can't be there beside you. It is my sincerest wish that Christi pull through this awful ordeal, and that you can live long, happy, healthy lives together, as you should. All the very best.
oh thomas team! you'll continue to be in my prayers. i wish for you a miracle in philadelphia, and if no miracle, the continued strength to move forward in this battle.
Hi Thomases-
1 am and I am staring at the latest picture. Reading the latest words. I see no comments, yet so I know I am not the only one who doesn't know what to say. This roller coaster is going too fast now and we all just want it to go back to some place safe so you can all get off and be someplace OK. We are all with you on your trip. Holding our breath.
Love, David, Sara, Ruby and Baby Ethan
My thoughts and prayers are with you for a safe trip to Philly, and that they will be able to offer some hope for further treatment. I've followed Christi's story for so long now and marvelled at her zest for life and her enthusiasm for learning. My heart breaks for what you're going through right now as her Mom; I've been praying for Christi to be healed, and will continue to do so.
Denise Ward
Winnipeg, Canada
Christi, you are beautiful!
With love,
Janie's mom
I simply cannot think of anything to say that could possibly sum up how I feel for you - just know that prayers are going up to heaven for you and your little one, what a complete nightmare for everyone. Prayers prayers prayers.
Lisa
I'm just so sorry that this is happening. I pray that God's peace would be very real to you right now and that His comfort will give you strength.
You are in my daily prayers.
My heart is with you and it hurts for and with you.
I love you guys!
Heather
Oh Thomas Family....praying, praying, praying, praying! May you find comfort in Christ's beautiful smile and know that you are doing all that you can do for her. Christi and Shayla are extremely lucky to have you both for parents. May God bless your trip today, Prayers, Kate Breuer
Angela I'm so very sorry that Christi's health has taken a turn for the worst. I will be thinking of you, although not praying as that's not my thing. But sending you a lot of love and support as best I can.
(PS I'm the person who sent christi and shayla the storybooks two christmas's ago. I've been reading since but not commenting)
Lots of Prayers for you and your amazing Christi who is such a beautiful girl both in body and more importantly in spirit! Thinking of you all xx
I hope tomorrow has better news than is expected. I am praying hard Christi continues to feel well and is able to attend and enjoy her Valentines Day party at school. Many prayers and (((HUGS)) for Christi and your family.
Thomas Team:
I have just finished crying my eyes out. My heart and thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish you a safe trip to CHOP and I want you to know if there is ANYTHING I can do, let me know. I am more than willing to fly right home from Bahrain just to give that precious angel more "whole platelet" donations. Please, do not hesitate to say the word. I can fly to Ohio, Philly or NY at your convenience to be at Christi's side and to give her the matching platelets that I did in the past. She is a gift to all of us, and my heart is just aching right now. I feel far away and helpless. There is a power in prayer that I truly believe in...so that is what I will continue to do DAILY in Christi's honor.
With love and prayers,
Kristi (& Thomas) Ritter, all the way from the Middle East
You are all in my prayers, Thomas Team! Christi has so much to accomplish and give to us all... may she beat this terrible disease once and for all, and soon!
Sending you love and support...
Fondly,
ChemoAngel Nancy
Manchester, NH
I came across Christis blog today.
She has much in common with my little daughters friend Angelica.Angelica was just about to turn 6 when she learned she had neuroblastoma.We have been praying for her everyday but never feel we can pray enough.
I will send some special wishes that Christis latest developments are nothing and she continues to grow into a strong woman.
Also I would love to know of a place online I could add little Angelica to a prayer chain.One never feels like they can do enough.
Blessings!
I am lifting you up in constant prayer. I'm sure there are a lot of us out here also wishing we could take Christi's place, I know I do. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Angel Holly
Know you'll be in my thoughts all day today. I'm so sorry things are hard.
The picture is beautiful; Christi is gorgeous and she just looks like she's right at home with everyone!
Dear Thomas Family,
I am so sorry to read your latest entries; however, I am happy to read that Christi is at least feeling well.
Although I don't personally know you, I am continually amazed by your strong faith and positive attidude. I will continue to pray that Christi is cured, and that she feels well enough to enjoy her Valentine's Day party in the meantime.
All the best,
Alicia Henderson and family.
In reading the comments from others, it is obvious that there are a lot of people out there wanting to reach out and give you strength and words of comfort, including myself. Although I am at a loss for the right words to say, please know that I am praying diligently for your precious daughter. As you forge ahead on this journey, not knowing which direction things will go, God will continue to protect your hearts as He leads you. Trust in His wisdom while you are praying for a miracle that only He can provide.
I was sent this blog for prayer from a wonderful young lady whose heart is the size of texas and then some. I have read through Christi's site and I want you to know that our thoughts and prayers are with Christi and your family. Remember..."walk by faith not by sight, God's love is great". I can go on and on about the power of prayer, it truly is powerful!! For Christi's mother, I can go on and on on the evils of Insurance companies. Dealing first hand with the same thing for the last 6 years...I feel for you truly. I have said it before, if it were THEIR daughters or sons lives in need, you can BET the results would be far different. Shame on them. Much prayer and love to you and yours, even in the smallest of towns in Ohio.
The Jusi Family
Of course, there are no words that could truly express what my heart wants to say... please know that I'm praying SO hard for you right now.
Oh... and Christi...
WE LOVE YOU!!!
~Rachel
I've been in constant prayer and thoughts of you all day today.
Praying for strength and peace for all of you.
You have my love (for always)and my prayers in abudance! I love you dearly!!
Holding you oh so close in thought and prayer and in my heart.
With all my love and my constant prayers,
Heather
Dear Angela,
i am just sick about all that is going on. We were out of town this weekend and I came home to so much bad news. Oh how I want God to make Christi well!!
Hope and Faith....we will pray earnstly !!
I am worried about you too. You must be a rail with all you have been through. i remember that horrible feeling I had for such a long time when Molly was diagnosed. it's a feeling you never get to experience unless you have a very ill child. It's a club you didn't want to join. Wishing your membership to be short and healing to be just around the corner!
love from Minnesota!!
Thae Hollways
I am keeping you in my prayers for the best possible outcome....
Dang, I hate this....
Love and peace to you all...
lynette
Hi Thomas Team. Just wanted to let you know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers today and every day as you fight this awful beast. I'm praying extra hard right now as you face these "lumps", hoping against all hope that it is not the cancer spreading. Even though we've never met in person, I feel as though I know your family and I cry with you as I've been reading these past few days. Please try to take care of yourselves as best you can.
Love,
Chris Walden
Brighton, MI
Dear Christy and family. I have followed Christy since she first was diagnosed a few years ago and I am continually amazed by her strength and determination. Christy, is a remarkable young woman with intelligence and understanding beyond her years, a gift to all. My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you face this latest health crisis. I can not imagine the fear in your hearts right now and god willing I pray I never will. God Bless you all. We love you Christy
susan. NS Canada
Dear Thomas Team,
I have been following Christi's website for 3 years now, once while you were staying at RMDH NYC, i saw you outside and asked if you were Christi's mom. I think Christi is an amazing, beautiful, compassionate little girl. You and Shayne have done such a wonderful job giving her the best life possible, despite all, she looks so happy. I will continue to pray for a miracle for Christi. I am a nursing student, and my mom is a PNP, children like Christi are our true motivation.
Love and best wishes,
Ashley
like so many, i've been following christi's STRONG FIGHT since early 2002. As always, she is in my prayers and in my thoughts. I'll send extra love and strength to you, shane, and shayla as well during this critical time. I'm glad that Christi's still feeling well. She looks so great in those dance pictures!!!! Love, Nikki
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