Support For Christi Thomas

This blog is to help offer support to the Thomas Family and their daughter, Christi, in her battle against cancer. Please visit Christi's website at to learn more. There, you'll find journals, photos and a lots of other information about this amazing child and her family.

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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Loss of an Angel

The feelings of nausea are large this morning. 9/11: On the one year anniversary of that horrible, evil attack on America, we decided to start a family tradition of doing something positive together as a family. It was the day five year old Christi was to begin her piano lessons and we were going to go to the Great Wolf Lodge (an indoor waterpark). Little did we know when all of that was arranged that instead one of our treasured daughters would be diagnosed with cancer. 9/11/06: The day I put Shayla on that plane by herself so that she could get back to school, her bunny and a "normal" life for a bit. As soon as the airlines walked her thought that door, I sat in a chair and cried my eyes out. It was not that I was worried about Miss Shayla flying solo - of course SHE could handle that (Could the people sitting around her? hmmmm). It was that I knew she would most likely never see her sister again and I didn't know what was in store for our family and if I was doing the right thing by sending her home. A few times this summer she told me that a third grader told her in the bathroom that Christi was still alive, but then we came home that night and told her she died at 9AM. I explained to her that we were not going to put anything on the internet to inform other people who cared about Christi until we told her, Christi's sister, first. I hope she will one day understand that. Back at the hospital, one year ago today, Christi joked with us the best she could about what Shayla might be doing on that Southwest Airlines flight, as an unaccompanied minor. "Maybe she's running up and down the aisles", etc. It was one of the final little bit of joking Christi was able to do and I'd give anything to go back one year ago and to be with her holding her little hand I know only have handprints of. (I am thankful and glad to at least have those!)

Loss Of An Angel

Precious One, we miss you so,
Now, we will never see you grow.
We miss that smile on our tiny face,
and your little body, we did embrace.
We miss holding you in our arms each day,
Believing you are in Heaven, we do pray.
The magic in your little hands and little feet,
Leave us with special memories, oh so sweet.
Our hearts feels so sad and empty now,
If only we could go back in time, somehow.
How blessed we were, when you were here,
You filled our lives with joy and cheer.
The gift of life, we gave to you,
Your days on earth were far too few.
Today, we live our lives a different way,
But our love is still with you, every day.

Jan Endres


At 11/9/07 7:19 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

You are so amazing, Angela! You really are a wonderful mother. You soaked in every detail of Christi's life, and have it all saved up in your memories. I can't even seem to remember yesterday. Your family was robbed and you were so helpless. I pray for your strength in the coming days....I'm sure every hour of every day is a hurdle.

At 11/9/07 8:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you...

At 11/9/07 9:15 AM, Anonymous Simone said...

I've followed Christi's story for quite some time now. Your posts are inspirational and teach us all what's important in life. This day is hard enough for me remembering '01, but what happened to you on this day must make it twice as hard. I continue to pray for your family in this difficult time.
(Cleveland Heights, OH)

At 11/9/07 9:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember the flat tire of Christi's jogging stroller on the four year anniversary of her diagnosis. Today, it is raining here and quite dark, reminding me of Shayne's post "grim" and his description of filme noir. Thank you so much for sharing your daughter with us. We shared every victory since your first post in 2002, and we wept with you through September of 2006. This September, we remember and pray for your family, and we grieve with you, too. God bless Christi and her beloved family, always.

At 11/9/07 2:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess your family has your own 9/11 tragedy...I know the loss of Christi will always be an open wound; how I wish there were words to make it all better; it is not so simple. Prayers for continued strength for the Thomas Team. Thinking of you....

Shayla looks great, I'm so glad she had such a fun summer. Shayla is so young, it must be hard for her to understand the loss of her sister; when she's older, maybe she can read your journal and find some measure of understanding of it all--some things in life we just cannot control or ever really comprehend. But Christi's life was a journey, revealing the perseverance of love and family.


p.s. Doesn't Shayla need to wear glasses anymore? If not, YAY!

At 11/9/07 7:52 PM, Anonymous anne said...

Checking on you everyday. Sending good wishes and prayers your way.

Hang in there!

At 11/9/07 9:00 PM, Blogger JMR said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish I could ease your pain in some small way today. I hope that it brings you some peace to know that people all over the world are grieving with you and remembering your precious angel, we will never let her be forgotten. I pray that you may find a quiet moment where you can feel Christi with you, her love and joy surrounding you. She is with you.

At 11/9/07 11:24 PM, Blogger Spring Barnickle said...

Love you, I'm so sorry. Just want you to know how often I'm thinking of you and praying for you.


At 11/9/07 11:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Margot & I read your site constantly and wish there were something we could do to help ease the pain. I still have Shayne's v/m to me on my cell phone saved from 8/16/06 since everytime I resave it, resaving makes me think of you guys and how much you tried to help us even while you were struggling and how much you lived (still love the stories about Christi going to school with no ANC :). You really are inspirations to us. Boy do I wish I were a better writer and could write like you Angela but I hope you know how often we think of Christi. Neil & Margot from San Diego.

At 12/9/07 12:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

angela, the heaviness you feel on your chest and the shortness of breath is stress i assure you. you are not alone in this hard time you are going through. Christi is with you everyday, she can hear every word, i promise. anything you want her to know, just say it. i promise you she can hear you. i promise you. feel at peace knowing she is with you and does not want you to hurt anymore. she is pain free and happy as can be. this i promise you. and remember, there are no such things as coincidences when looking for signs from christi, coincidences are just something our conscious minds make up. christi is very much alive and happier than ever at home. please remember this.


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