Busy by Choice

Last night I met a very sweet lady. Her daughter was killed in a car accident in a few years ago. She continues to struggle not being able to work. We discussed many commonalities we have due to our daughters' deaths. One of the questions she asked me was how I could go to work and keep living without Christi, I simply pointed at Shayla and said, “I don’t know if I could without her. I’m so blessed to have her in my life. I also believe Christi, who had many interests and liked to do many things, would want me to keep moving and doing.”



Of course I jokingly said to Shayne earlier last night, “I don’t know how Shayla can keep up with this schedule. I'm exhausted.” I said that as I collapsed in his truck. After I drop Shayla off at some of her lessons, I've been exercising. Yesterday I was jogging and surprisingly Shayne went driving by after working out at the Y. We were so surprised to see each other!

Before school started this August we sat down to select Shayla’s activities for the year. Shayne explained to her, “The problem is, you’re exactly like your parents. You like to do it all and you want to do it all, but you can’t because there isn’t enough time in the week.”

She didn’t select it all, but she has an after school or evening activity (or two) every day after school - Ballet, Volleyball, Jazz, Religion, Pointe, and Horseback Riding and she couldn’t be more happy about that. Each morning when I wake her up she either tells me what day it is and what she needs to pack for, or asks me what she gets to do after school. Volleyball will soon end and ice skating lessons will then pick up.

I am so happy I want to shout to the world that I have a healthy child who can do all of this. I know many cannot. There were a few times, while in treatment with Christi, I’d overhear parents in a store complain about how busy they were. I wanted to explain that was their choice and they didn’t need to live that life if they didn’t want to. I knew I was also incredibly busy trying not to lose my job, taking classes in case I did, and getting Christi to countless doctor appointments for treatment, check ups and blood work not to mention the daily stress of, “What if she dies?”. When I examine Shayla’s activities, I realize that is nothing compared to the life we used to live. That was busy! That was stress! My prayers are with those living that life and those who continue not to be able to force themselves to keep moving after a death occurs.


I would love to know what the girls were saying and thinking on this day at Cedar Point, July 2005. The "Frog Hopper" was one their favorite rides.