The 12th Birthday

(Father Joe came to visit Christi soon after she arrived.) I made it through the dreaded day ok. It was just in stark contrast of her real birthday - a day FILLED with joy and delight. Our precious child finally arrived, after seven years of dating and nearly seven years of marriage. Who would have ever guessed that she was most likely born with that evil beast, neruoblastoma. She seemed perfect to me.

(Christi wanted to make Shayla a gift for her birthday, so she did. I think Shayla liked receiving this piggy Christi crafted for Christi's birthday.) Shayla has told us before she doesn't want to be left out on things so Shayne said when he went to drive her to school on Tuesday he said, "Today is Christi's birthday. She would have been 12." Shayla nodded and put her chin down to her chest. He said he nearly burst into tears knowing how much she must miss Christi too. PICTURE: Christi's 9th and final bday, May 2006
One of Christi's friends came up to me at school and said, "Are you going to Christi's grave today?" I told her I was. She said, "Say hi to her for me." Choking back tears I told her I would certainly do that and I also told her that she was so special to Christi and Christi enjoyed her friendship so much. Although she caught me off guard, it was truly the sweetest thing. I always wonder if they remember Christi and that reassured me she did. Teaching Christi's classmates this year has really been hard. She loved them and her school so much. I'm really ready to walk away from that pain, even though I'll miss those special kids too!

Later, at Christi's grave site, another sweet, sweet, sweet school friend left behind a beautiful little horse statue. She signed her name on the back and wrote, "Happy 12th Christi". That was really moving. I brought it home because I knew Shayla would love it and it's sitting on the shelf where we keep her two pairs of cowgirl boots she rides horses in. While at the cemetery, I also vowed to Christi (again) that I really would get her grave plaque picked out soon. She deserves to have her grave marked! It just didn't seem like something I should have to do on her birthday. (One more excuse, I know, I'm just absolutely dreading it! It seems so permanent. Oh, it is.) PICTURE: Christi's classmate bday party "Horse Themed at Lane of Dreams" where Shayla rides, 2006, age 9

After school yesterday, Shayla went out with the neighbor to play with the sidewalk chalk Jill recently gave her. I noticed the pretty drawing when I went to take her to the Ritz, but I didn't pay particularly close attention. When I came back home, I was surprised to see the designs the kids made.
I couldn't believe the sweet messages they left for Christi.



With my sweet mom on Christi's birthday, May 12th.I don't know how or why moms make everything better, but without a doubt, they do. I'm sooooooo blessed to have her! (When Shayla came home from school on Tuesday she sat at one end of the table doing her homework while I sat at the other working on my dissertation. I said, "When I was your age, I'd sit in the kitchen with my mom after school but she was always working, cooking up something really yummy for supper. Sorry about your luck, Shayla. Like always, I'm going to wait until we get really hungry then rush to the freezer to see what I can quickly heat up for us." She laughed and said, "Well, you can't be good at everything. Get that dissertation done, mom.")