Dr. Maris just left...
This man is a Saint. A long time ago one of our NB friends asked Shayne if he thought Maris would “stick around” when things weren’t working out and we didn’t know. Well, he has more than “stuck around” he’s been here for us every day – coming in on the weekends even and taking such great care of us. It’s almost as he’s in mourning too.This morning he said that Christi’s life touched many. He said that he was even receiving emails about Christi. (I couldn’t get over my tears enough to tell him that we’d never give out his email address.)
He stayed with us a long time and told us twice that Christi is already “someplace else”. He said if they’d check he was certain she’d have no brain waves and that she is in a coma. When I asked him if she could hear us he told me, “no.” Although he said that Christi has surprised him many times over the years, he believes she has minutes, hours, possibly days left – but days is most unlikely.
Shayne and I have felt that she has been “gone” for at least a day ourselves. Her last food was two days ago when she woke up and wanted cookies and milk for breakfast. She was stirred from her sleep enough yesterday morning to say, “bathroom” but then she was like a little rag doll with her head literally flapping around and legs no longer strong enough to stand. “Bathroom” her final word, so sad. When did she really depart? We don’t know. Why is her body still hanging on despite the fact we’ve told her it’s time to go? I don’t know. A few days ago I caught a few things she was saying in her dreams: “It was just so hard giving up that heart one. I really liked that one.” (In reference to the bead / keychain things she made for all of the five new girls in her 5th grade class to welcome them to her school.) and “I can spell this one. It’s okay you guys. We’re good.” (She must have been dreaming about a game/competition with her class at school.)
When Shayne asked Dr. Maris how high her LDH (now over 26,000) could go he responded, "no much higher." Then he added, "I don't recall ever seeing an LDH that high." Strangly enough, her hemigloban is still over 10 which puzzles us all. Her platelets down to 27 today so they were transfused and her white count is now down to 2.0 with an anc of a mere 260 - no ability to fight infection. Dr. Maris believes her fever indicates an infection and that it should be a peaceful way to die. I hope so as I've witnessed enough horror in recent weeks. He also thought she looked good on the outside, but this mom has seen too much damage to agree with that. I've learned, "Death is not pretty". Enough said.
So, God, it doesn’t appear you’re listening……you haven’t taken any of my plea bargains of taking my life instead of my daughter’s for years, but I’m going to keep on trying. Dear God, if Christi’s not already with you, she’s on her way. Our amazing little girl loves science centers and amusement parks. She’ll be buried with her COSI and her Cedar Point passes. Would you please make certain you have those things up there? She’ll be shy at fist, but as soon as she gets her courage up she’ll be asking you to expand your library and asking if she can help take care of all the pets.
posted by The Binary Biker @ 5:05 PM
20 Comments:
(((((((hugs))))))))
I'm sure a heavenly party awaits your Princess when she arrives! So many dear little ones who have sadly gone before her...a party indeed as she rejoices that her body has been made whole and painfree! She will miss you, but they say that in Heaven a hundred eartky years is but a moment. She know that her beloved family will be with her again one day!
My love to all of you! God bless you and hold yo uin the palm of his hand!
LEAVE ~ TAKING
by Sandra Bury
When the coming of your death
became an awareness on the planet
some wondrous events began.
The word went out that you were preparing to leave,
to leave this place that you call home.
The word was heard by the wind
and it promised to blow
under you and push you.
The clouds heard the wind and
billowed for joy.
"You may land on us and float for awhile."
The rain said, "I'll wash the air clean,"
while each star polished itself to a brilliant shine.
In the presence of your impending death
the earth prepared to send you forth.
The gravity that had held you so tightly
began to lose its grip.
It called, "Let loose, Let loose, Let loose and fly."
As you began to float, a squirrel
noticed and remembered;
remembered how you saved,
saved those things that were important.
He told the rabbit, who told the turtle, who told the bird.
"She's coming," they whispered.
The bird sang your memories a joyous release.
The song was heard by a lone wolf.
The lone wolf stood on a cold tundra
howling her appreciation for all the lessons you learned so well.
Some distant great pines heard the howl and knew of your leaving.
They swayed, releasing their fragrance to waft with you.
The fragrance was gathered in
by the swiftest of hawks, flown high
with the widsom that the great hawk knows.
The hawk told a passing eagle who
swooped and soared until,
finding your spirit loose on the wind,
carried it forward to a joyous rainbow.
The rainbow said, "Come, I've been waiting. The colors are all for you!"
When the moon heard this, it shouted,
"Prepare! A life well lived is approaching!"
The stars again polished their shine until the illumination penetrated the system.
Your soul saw and knew it was going home.
Home to the light, home to the sun, and home beyond home, beyond home.
And it met with all that it had always known:
the silent and brilliant mystery.
The source.
The entire mystery burst with the splendor of
"welcome, welcome, we have been waiting."
The source, with all the ancestors gathered round,
enfolded you and danced your coming.
While far away, in the world you had known,
a group of your loves and friends
gathered to speak your praises,
to sing your leaving and
to forever remember.
Since no soul has come back to let us know, I believe, Angela and Shayne, that Christi's spirit indeed hears you. love, sylvia
God bless you all. There arn't many words I can think to say anymore to try to make you, Shayne and Angela, feel better. If I could, I would take everyones pain away. I would defintely start with Christi. God Bless her as she makes her trip to heaven. I hope there are many books and amusement parks in heaven.
Much Luv to you and your precious family.
Krystal
Sweet Christi is such a warrior...God Bless all of you.
poor, sweet, baby girl. angela and shayne, please know that you are in my constant thoughts, and that i am sending you prayers for a peaceful passing for your beautiful daughter.
never looking away...
I've been following your story for a few days after hearing about Christi from a friend's carepage.
What a special young girl she is! I didn't know what to write before now but I just wanted you to know that I'm here praying for all of you in this difficult time. I'm so sorry this had to happen to her.
Lynne
Beaufort, SC
I have no words tonight, only prayers and tears for a precious little girl I love so much. For her Mommy and Daddy and sister who love her so purely and completely.
I love you all dearly. Praying for a peaceful passing from the arms of Mommy and Daddy (where I wish she could stay) to the arms of Jesus.
With love and prayers,
Heather
keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers tonight. my heart is with you as your journey proceeds........
angel olivia's mom, wendy
www.caringbridge.org/mi/oliviasgrace
WE LOVE YOU THOMAS TEAM
XOXOXO
Brigid and Celie
A friend of mine, who knows I have a blog and can post to other bloggers, asked me to send this to you: "Just let this family know that I am praying for them, and having just lost my own niece to this awful disease my heart feels like it is breaking all over again for them...for their daughter. Let them know I am praying that God gives them superhuman strength to get thru the next days/weeks/years..."
Her neice, Jennifer Bailey, lost her battle on July 13th at 16. The family is from York, PA. Jenn's website is http://www.geocities.com/jenn_b_17356/index.html
Perhaps their similar situation can be of some help. Amber, who asked me to send this, can be e-mailed at:amberbaby@comcast.net. She would be happy to tell you about some of Jenn's treatment options, etc. God bless you.
Hi Thomas's,
I found this quote and thought about y'all: “The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God.”
-Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994
praying,
Brooke, in Logan, UT
I wish I had words to help ease your pain. There are none. Still, I feel almost a complusion to let you know while you are soaking up these last moments with your precious Christi that I (and so many others) are with you in spirit.
Praying for all of you.
My husband and I came across your blog tonight. We are touched by your strength and as parents we can only imagine your pain. We will be praying for you. God does hear prayers and he will be with you and your family.
Dear Thomas Family,
I am yet another lurker who "stumbled" upon your site. I have been captivated by following Christi's progress towards Heaven and noticed that you haven't had any comments to your posts lately. I wanted to be sure you knew that you are not alone in this hour of grief. There are still people out here waiting and praying for you and Christi. I have struggled with seeing the reality of watching Christi pass from this life through pictures...but it reminds me of the Cross and how even though it is painful to look at. Look at it we must! Thank you for being so open and honest about the reality of what you are going through. I can't imagine! Nor do I EVER want to. Thank you too for your testimony and faith. May God hold you tight, wipe away your tears, restore the beautiful memories and make you laugh again!
Love in Christ,
Katie in Oklahoma
Praying for you all as I go to bed tonight.
I love you!
Lots of love and prayers,
Heather
Praying for her safe passage and your strength to let her go. I have only followed your story for the last couple of days and the comfort and love you have given her throughout this long journey has been wonderful. I wish your family,again, strenth and peace for what will follow in the next coming weeks and maybe years. There is no limit on grief. God Bless.
I came across your blog about your beautiful daughter Christi when checking on a young boy from our church with cancer. I have fallen in love with you all and am keeping you in my prayers. Know that the Lord is tenderly holding Christi in the palms of his hands.
I want to thank you for letting me share a personal part of your lives and allowing me the privilege to pray for you all.
In the love of our risen Lord,
Kimi, in MN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Romans 8:33 - 39
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Could oppression, or anguish, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 Even as it is written, "For your sake we are killed all day long. We were accounted as sheep for the slaughter."
37 No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I'M SITTING HERE IN TEARS.CHRISTI IS TOUGH THAT IS FOR SURE.I GUESS SHE IS JUST NOT READY TO LEAVE YOU YET.WHAT A FIGHTER SHE IS.A TRUE INSPIRATION TO ALL.READING YOUR UPDATE AND LOOKING AT THE PICTURE OF CHRISTI LAYING IN BED SO PALE MAKES ME FEEL THAT HER WINGS ARE GOING TO BE EARNED REALLY SOON IN THE NEXT 12 HOURS OR SO.I WATCHED MY DAD GO THROUGH THIS AND IT'S SO SAD TO SEE THEM SO PALE AND SHALLOW BREATHING.KEEP HOLDING HER TIGHT AND TALKING TO HER FOR ME I STILL THINK THEY CAN HEAR US.THEY MIGHT BE ALREADY GONE FROM US BUT THERE SPIRIT WILL LIVE ON FOREVER AND ALWAYS HEAR EVERYTHING THAT WE SAY.AND BE BY OUR SIDES ALWAYS.I KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS ON YOU ALL PLEASE KNOW THAT I'M PRAYING FOR YOU AND HOLDING CHRISTI IN MY HEART NOW AND FOREVER AS SHE SLOWLY EARNS HER WINGS.
Christi and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers constantly. God be with all of you now and forever.
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