Candidacy Exams

I really have no idea what Wednesday morning will bring. I must remember that I selected my four favorite Professors, the four my educational interests are most aligned with, but quite frankly, I’m scared. I’m prepared, but scared. My candidacy exams have been on my mind since I first applied to OSU’s Ph.D. program in 2003. I wondered back then how I could possibly do something like that and be successful, but obviously it’s heavily on my mind now. I need to pass. I do not want to throw away $30,000, five continuous years of work not to mention the gas, and time spent away from Christi, Shayne and Shayla. I’m very pleased with the written portion which all of my committee members have received in the mail in the required ten days prior to my general candidacy examinations, but now it's time for what I believe to be my weakest area – my oral defense. Can I really answer questions for two hours on my research and do so in a scholarly manner? I hope so.

According to the rules, if any one of my four committee members thinks that my writing portion is not good enough they are to notify me and tell me that I cannot pass based upon my written work. At that point, I would have the opportunity to cancel the oral exam, or to try to continue for the experience anyway. Thankfully, I’ve not received that word from any of the members. Whew! So, it looks like Wednesday morning is on! My stomach is churning and my headaches have been back. Thursday will be a big day of celebration or a big pity-party; regardless, I know I’ll feel better!

I’ve heard horror stories from other Ph.D. students, but I’m praying for the best. Only one of my Professors has given me an indication of how he will handle the two hour exam. He told me that he will not play games and try to intimidate me. He will have thoroughly read my response to his question in advance and his questions will be legitimate questions that he’d really like to hear my knowledge and expertise about. He said he would not try to trip me up. He said that he cannot speak for my other three committee members and he’s served on doc committees in the past where some Professors think because they went through hell to get their Ph.D. that everyone else should too, but he will not do that to me. He said each exam experience is very unique.

My Faculty Advisor told me that I will start off with a fifteen minute opening and then they will begin asking me the questions. At the end of the two hours, I will leave the room while they deliberate. Their decision must be unanimous. Thankfully, I’ll find out that day. Regardless of the outcome, I’m walking across High Street to my favorite Mexican place and then going to pick up my season student OSU football tickets before driving home – THAT I am looking forward to!

She told me to focus in on my four literature reviews and to know the big researchers so that I can back up my findings by citing experts in the field and their research. I must respond in a scholarly manner. If I thought I was just sitting down and talking with interested teachers about my work, I’d be fine, but I fully realize they are the experts, they are published in these areas; they obviously know much more than I do about this. Yikes! Thursday cannot get here soon enough! If you think about it, please lift me up in prayer on Wednesday morning. Thank you! I will be wearing Christi's lip gloss, her American Girl perfume - both items sweet "fans" sent her and which I still keep in the bathroom drawer. I'll also be wearing a small angel pin so I can hopefully feel like the smart one is with me - I need smarts!