Dissertation Delay

Notice I titled this entry "Dissertation DELAY", not "DISASTER" or "DISAPPOINTMENT". (OK, I'll admit it's taken me 3-4 weeks of getting my mind around this news to be positive enough about it to even write, but I think I'm there......now.......maybe, smile.)

In August, after my candidacy exam, my doctoral committee discussed my dissertation research. I was told, "You should have no problem meeting your timeline," (defending in the spring and graduating in June). About a month ago, I asked four Professors to serve on my dissertation committee (my final committee to assemble - yipee!). We then got together and had an hour and 47 minute meeting. (How do I know the exact time? I used my digital recorder to record it all so I could download it to my computer, put it on our ipod shuffle and use their comments to improve my work. I'm so glad I did as I literally couldn't handle the news and zoned out a bit at times.)

Basically, I'll be conducting my research from the perspective of interpretivist / constructivist research and am planning to use a multicase study examination as part of my research design. For some of my data collection, I wrote the proposal to hold three, one hour interviews, with five teachers on my research questions and I will use a coding process of the data to construct and warrant the assertions most likely incorporating the NVIVO software for qualitative researchers. I'm not certain what changed in a month, but this new committee went on about how I'll be graduating from a "Research I" institution and with that comes the responsibility of being incredibly strong in the research field. Primarily, they are not a teaching college, but an institution of research. Additionally, they said that while many Ph.D. Candidates claim their research has never been done before, it is really true in my case. Therefore, they believe my work will be highly scrutinized by the field and I must be certain to have a solid study and one that would immediately put me into the speaking circuit.

The changes they need me to make before they'll sign off on my research proposal and allow me to make my IRB submission (which I've now written THREE times) include: wanting me to conduct 12 in-depth case study examinations. (Yes, twelve, not five like originally stated) which will include among the data sources three one hour interviews with each of the twelve teachers. Additionally, I need to redo my sampling procedures to make my purposeful sampling more solid and better explained/rationalized. And while my review of the literature (Chapter Two) was fine for three of the four committee members, it's not at all fine with the fourth Professor so I've been slowly reading and researching and working to make that better. They all reminded me that I am a "type A" personality and like to get things done but that I needed to slow down, reflect and really come to enjoy this work. (I do agree; however, that really is not my style - I want to finish and "just" enjoy my teaching!)

They all gave me their packets back with their comments on my 90 pages of work. Interestingly noteworthy, it was fine for one of my four committee members so I keep looking at those comments to make myself feel better. I really do think the world of these four professors, four professors I selected! They are wonderful researchers and individuals. I hold each one in great respect and high regard! Although it's still tough news for me to accept right now I keep telling myself what's another year (choke, I'm not quite believing that yet) and I know they want this to be a fabulous study and one that reflects highly upon them and Ohio State. I will work hard to ensure it does!

After getting the news last month, I again went to my favorite Mexican Restaurant on High Street and called Shayne. He was the sweetest! He never once said a word about having to pay most likely another year's worth of tuition for me. The first thing he said after listening to me vent was, "I'm really surprised with all of the requirements and hurdles of a doctorate program that this is the first set back you've ever had. I think that's great." That man is amazing! I just kept thinking, "Another $10,000 for tution?! YIKES!" (My huge blessing this year is no longer driving and taking classes. I do think that is worth $10,000 as I am "just" working on my own. It has been WONDERFUL not to have to arrange for child care and take off driving for class immediately after school, racing to campus. I really disliked that part.)

During the meeting on campus, when it really hit me that I am not graduating in June, I was so sad. I knew I couldn't let them see me disappointed so in my warped way of dealing with things I told myself to think about how much fun I'd have with my sweet husband at next year's football games as I'd again qualify for season tickets still being a full time student. (I know, I know, for $10,000 I could easily buy tickets to all of the games, but......)

Before I went to the restaurant, my advisor hugged me for a long time. Later she emailed that my committee thinks I'm very intelligent and they are very impressed by all I've accomplished in my career. She assured me that if I follow their recommendations, my dissertation will be so much stronger. So that's what's been going on in my mind the past weeks. I keep thinking about this like I thought about Christi for so long, "I'm down, but not out!" It could be much worse instead of this DETOUR! Ahhhhhh.....I feel better now having vented and shared! Now I must kick it back into gear! GO BUCKEYES!

Interestingly noteworthy, last week one of my dissertation committee professors emailed and asked if I would again teach "Middle Childhood Language Arts" for Ohio State if it works out. The prof has written a grant and if it's approved, she will be released from teaching this course in order to pursue her research. I was very flattered and of course accepted thinking what a wonderful opportunity to get to teach that grad class about one of my loves "MC / LA" I loved doing so much last year (and also to help pay for my additional tuition costs, wink). Now my fingers are crossed she gets the grant and I get to do this!