Angela's Last Birthday
I just found this picture of my birthday in 2001, the year before Christi was diagnosed.
(Photo by Shayla: Grandma Nonee and Christi before their final trip to church together, four weeks before her death - August 20, 2006)Other women have told me that turning 40 is difficult, so I've decided that this is my final birthday and I'll just stay 39 and celebrate "anniversaries" from here on out! (smile) Seriously, what has been very difficult is that today is my first birthday without Christi. I didn't think it'd be so hard, but it has been very tough. I just miss her and her beautiful smile and giggly little personality! I'd do anything to have her back, yet God has yet to agree to any of my plea bargains!
This morning we went to my mom's church. During Mass I noticed a large banner with about 20 names on it, Christi's included. Sitting beside my mom I whispered, "What is the banner for and why is Christi's name there?" She told me even though Christi wasn't a member of her parish she went there sometimes and the church asked if it was ok to include Christi's name on the banner for the deceased souls of the church. Unbelievable! I continue to marvel at the kindness and thoughtfulness of people. That was so sweet. One of our former priests (and one of the greatest in our book) Father Kent served Mass.
Church is always emotional for me anyway, but I was doing well....until it was time to go up and receive Holy Communion. I could only think how very hard Father Kent worked creating the Good Sheppard Program at our former church (before moving to my mom's church) for the four year olds and how much Christi LOVED attending it and learning about Jesus. I will never know if Christi knew she was dying or not, but I do know that Christi's faith was very strong. I also kept thinking about how Father Kent also joked with Christi that he gave her "Second" Holy Communion because we went to my mom's church the Sunday following Christi's first communion. After Mass today Shayne and I had a chance to hug and talk with wodnerful Father Kent.
My final bday with Christi. She made me breakfast in bed and a lovely plastic/stain glassed rose - for my middle name
November 19, 2004 (Christi, age 7 - Shayla, age 5) I came home from parent/teacher conferences and the girls were standing there waiting to greet me with the gifts they made for me. In this picture we are pretending to drink from the teapot and cups Christi molded for me out of clay at a hospital in Georgetown University where Shayne took her to have her blood counts checked while I was at a teachers' meeting in DC. I will treasure my teapot and cups forever!HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dear Mother who also has her birthday today! I love you, Mom!! And I love sharing my birthday with such a special, loving, tender, wise and compassionate Christian woman - MY MOM!
Finally, today I can't help but think of our sweet little friend from Pennsylvania, Carter. I've felt a very special bond with this little guy because he was not only diagnosed eight weeks after Christi in 2002, but he was diagnosed on my birthday. I'll never forget the kindness of his parents making the incredibly long drive to pay respects to Christi on the day of her funeral, while their precious son was in the hospital. I can't believe the tough choices this family has had to make. We continue to shake our pom poms for our special friend, Carter! His website is: http://www3.caringbridge.org/pa/carterfinger/
posted by the Thomas team @ 8:25 AM
15 Comments:
First are always hard. Though I did not know you or your "shining star" you have toughed my life.
I would like to wish you happy memories on your birthday.
Unfortunatly this is a first for another grieving family. Liam Kane lost his battle with Neuroblastoma one year ago on this day (11/19). I know he was there to greet your brightly smiling little girl.
Happy Birthday Angela ... I can only imagine the feeling of loss today ... I know it is there all the time but days like today are harder than others I imagine ... I know Christi was celebrating your day in Heaven ... I know if you just look around you see her ... I hope that brings you comfort more than pain today - those giggles will remain in your heart ... she is an amazing little princess ...
Oh and a Christi Funny for me today!
I work in a pretty quiet building and there are usually 3-4 meetings with clients going on daily ... well the renter in the office below mine brought his BIG dog to work today and left for a while for lunch. Well that dog started barking the minute he walked out the door ... after about 45 minutes I silently whispered to Christi if she could help comfort the sad and lonely dog and not even 2 minutes later the dog was quiet ... so THANK YOU Christi ... always the greatest animal caretaker around ...
Love from my family to yours!
Rebekah Clark
Prior Lake, MN
mommy_jaden@yahoo.com
Angela,
I was led to this site through another childs site, one who is also going through that tough road of childhood cancer. The first time I saw this site was sadly the week before dear Christi was called home to the Lord. Since that first time, I have found myself comming back to this site again and agian. In fact it is now one of the first things I do in the morning every day along with my finances, checking email, etc,etc. I love check in and see how you and your family are comming along, and how that awsome sister Shayla is growing each day! Thank you so much for keeping all us "Christi fans" posted on everyone's progress because we are not only Christi fans, we are "Thomas Team" fans!!! Also I just wanted to let you know that I think you have done such GREAT things for Christi. You have told her story in such a beautiful manner through this site and have given Christi the tools to reach out and touch the world here!!! Angela, I know you are going through alot of pain, but just know that you are such a great mother to your girls, you are great to your family, and to all of us here as well. You truly have a heart of Gold! I'll keep checking up on you guys! God Bless you!
Love Rebeca
Praying for you and thinking of you all today and always. I just want to thank you again for keeping all of us updated with your blogs! I love hearing what the Thomas Team is up to. Amazing Christi will live on forever in the hearts and minds of millions.
The picture of you and Christi snuggled together last year is just too precious. I'm so very, very sorry that your princess wasn't with you here on earth to help you celebrate your birthday.
I kept thinking of her all day long on Saturday while we were watching the game and wondering if she and Shane had the rivilary going up there in Heaven.
I pray for you all daily. May you feel God's loving arms around.
With love and prayers for always,
Heather
Happy Birthday!!!
Happy Birthday -- I'm glad you were born! May your 39th year bring you many blessings!
Happy Happy Birthday!! Hope you had a Great day! Your sweet little angel was with you I am sure!
Lots of love,
MD
I never know what to say. I have a hard time thinking through the tears. I can't imagine what it would be like when just the thought of this happening to me, literally, makes my body ache. I've followed Christi's story for a long time now. I'm so grateful that you shared her with us. She has changed us. I am inspired by Christi's courage and by yours Angela. It's no wonder where she got it from. Keep going strong Mama. Angels are with you guys and we pray for you always....With love, Melanie and Saiva Iacono
Happy Birthday! As one who's already turned 40, I applaud the idea of only having "anniversaries" every year thereafter! I'm sure it's a difficult birthday to say the least, without Christi, my prayers are with you as you face all these special days without your little sweetheart. It's neat that your birthday's the same day as your Mom's and that you can celebrate together.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something." This is beautiful!
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy ? Is he going to be all right ? When can I see him ?" The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it." Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you ?" The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son ? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university." Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair ?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other r little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help >others if he could." Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep. It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said: "Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say "I Love You." I will always love you, Mom, even More with each day. Someday we will see each other Again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.
Angela,
I was led to this site through another childs site, one who is also going through that tough road of childhood cancer. The first time I saw this site was sadly the week before dear Christi was called home to the Lord. Since that first time, I have found myself comming back to this site again and agian. In fact it is now one of the first things I do in the morning every day along with my finances, checking email, etc,etc. I love check in and see how you and your family are comming along, and how that awsome sister Shayla is growing each day! Thank you so much for keeping all us "Christi fans" posted on everyone's progress because we are not only Christi fans, we are "Thomas Team" fans!!! Also I just wanted to let you know that I think you have done such GREAT things for Christi. You have told her story in such a beautiful manner through this site and have given Christi the tools to reach out and touch the world here!!! Angela, I know you are going through alot of pain, but just know that you are such a great mother to your girls, you are great to your family, and to all of us here as well. You truly have a heart of Gold! I'll keep checking up on you guys! God Bless you!
Love Rebeca
Happy Birthday Angela! And to your Mom! I am sorry that you don't have Christi physically with you...I know that she was with you in spirit, though! Prayers that she can come to you in your dreams and give you a birthday hug and kiss!
Dear Thomas Team ... I wanted to stop in and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I can only imagine how painful and sad the day will be without Christi there with you. I know you are thankful that she was given to you for the short 9 years that you had her ... her spirit remains in all of us ... I was reading your journal from last year and thought I'd post what Christi wrote ... here is wha she is thankful for ... she loved you ALL so much!
“I Am Thankful”
by Christi S. Thomas
November 2005
I am thankful for my family because they take care of me, feed me and they love me. When I am sad, I can go to them. At night they tuck me under the covers and I love my family.
Love from my family to yours!
Rebekah Clark
Prior Lake, MN
mommy_jaden@yahoo.com
I just wanted to share this story with you to let you know that I think Christi is definitely up there, looking out for you all! And I think she had to have been behind that whole finding the thumb-print. Whether people may doubt it or not.
I want to relay a story that just happened to myself and my boyfriend. We have 3 rabbits, 2 cats and we're in the process of getting a dog as well. We are also moving but we are renting a house currently and moving into our new rented home in February. Last night we got some really bad news that the owner of our current home might kick us out prematurely.
I live for my pets so my first concern was where we could put the bunnies. (They're the hardest pets to take anywhere, and convince a landlord to let us have!)
I was catching up reading more of your posts (I love seeing old pictures and hearing about Christi's remarkable journey). As well, it also helps me put my troubles into perspective, humbling me. Well, at some point, a thought came to me: "maybe it'll all work out, Chrisi couldn't have something like that happen to pets." (I started following your story initially after reading all our her cats & the new addition Buckeye!)
At this thought I kind of kicked myself because I thought about just how trivial the situation really was (in the grand scheme of things). There are far more people deserving of actual help, in situations far more concerning than this! And I knocked the thought out of my mind.
Amd then... This morning I awoke to hear that the owner has decided (even though it doesn't even help her to say this) that she won't kick us out until we have the new place. We were fully expecting to wait and worry until February. To say it was COMPLETELY unexpected, is a total understatement!!
I just had this feeling that Christi had something to do with it. For the pets! We truly live for our animals (as we do not yet have children). I feel sort of silly for writing this comment but I also felt I had to, to let you know that I felt she helped us out.
I find myself upset so often that so many children are robbed of their lives, their parents having to endure such tragedy like this. It breaks my heart everyday to know that you are without Christi and there were so many things she could have done, accomplished, become.
I cannot imagine how you feel, but I want you to know that you aren't alone. She's still with you and she always will be. She'll be helping fight all your battles from her cloud in Heaven.
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