You've Come a Long Way Baby

Shayla on the lap of Santa (her daddy) Christmas Eve, 1999 (Shayla 10 months old) After we got home from church Shayne went "back to work" (...to the cold garage to change into my dad's costume) and then he jingled some bells and walked in as I was reading to the girls. Both girls screamed and cried and attempted to get me (trying to operate the camera) to hold both of them. Shayne did a tremendous job, but I had to really try hard to keep from laughing. Because I keep the Santa pictures hidden from the girls, they've never seen the funny "Cry Baby" pictures from that year. I'd look at them every year, giggle and know that one day I'd share them and we'd all laugh! Now I guess one day I'll share the memories with Shayla. She'll laugh!
Here is her 2006 Santa picture which I had taken at the mall today. (She's wearing the black velvet dress Christi wore to the Michael O' Brien concert when she declared after we left the church, "I felt like the Lion King when he lifted me up and every body clapped!") Shayla didn't scream or cry like she did in 1999; today she happily chatted away with Santa telling him all sorts of interesting stuff (smile).



Christi with Christian singer, Michael O'Brien, St. Mary's church (where her funeral mass was held) September 2003, age 6.

Organized by some fabulous leaders and my former jr. high students from last year, I knew the Girl Scout Christmas party would be a smashing hit with Shayla! I dropped her off Friday night at 5:00 and took off driving to the store (20-30 minutes away) where I had to start and finish my Christmas shopping. I only had until 8:30PM and I also had to wrap and hide everything. (You see, Shayla's parents have turned into big wimps and the thought of Christmas hasn't been sitting well with either one of the in recent days. Therefore, they decided to best thing to do would be to have Santa come to their house tomorrow to bring Shayla her presents then they could maybe "move on" and pretend this wasn't real. They do have something unique planned for Christmas day, but it won't be like anything they've ever done before. They do feel guilty about rushing Jesus's birthday, but they've been blessed for years witnessing more about "the Christmas spirit" than most ever will.)

With the clock ticking, and my heart racing, I did it! Everything is wrapped, hidden and waiting for us to put it under our tree late tonight!! It was very hard buying for just one daughter. "Why am I buying little treats for Christi's cats and not Christi?! I could have easily buried those two cats, but not Christi!" I whispered into my cell phone to Shayne, who was working late, while I was racing around Walmart with my shopping cart last night.

Picking Shayla up from her party I couldn't thank those sweet ladies enough for allowing me to get all of my shopping done. I also looked around the room where the girls were happily singing Christmas carols, finishing games and cookies and I kept thinking that Christi would have had so much fun with the Girl Scouts and their leaders! I just wished she could have been there too! (Thank you to sweet Ashley - one of Christi's 5th grade and girl scout friends, for teaming up with Shayla at the party! So sweet!)

When I went to give a hug and a thank you to one of their amazing leaders she told me that she saw on the blog about Christi's "Giving Tree" for neuroblastoma research. She told me that the left over money from the Christmas party was going to go to that. Driving home, Shayla asked me what that lady said to make me cry and I explained it to her and told her that my tears were from such a loving and wonderful, thoughtful thing they were doing to help find a cure and it also lets me know that Christi's life hasn't been forgotten. Shayla, being 7 of course, focused on the Disney World prize going to one of the families. She wanted to come home and pull up Christi's tree on the Internt to see how many ornaments were hanging on it. (I wish I would have taken a picture of her incredible amazed, surprised and happy expression learning that there were over 350 precious ornaments hanging on Christi's tree!) After reading the fine print we learned that Shayla can still take the Disney trip, or she can give it to another cancer family. Shayla said, "Well, I want to give it to another family because who would I play with anyway? This way I'll have another family of kids to play with." (What a hoot! After that comment I just couldn't explain to her that it was one or the other and that the goal wasn't about a prize, but about discovering how to tame this beast!)

Speaking of that, Shayne spent about 40 minutes talking with the science magazine reporter a few days ago. Dr. Maris was calling her later that same night. We will also be meeting with the beautiful Jill Goshe from the Advertiser Tribune on Monday of next week. Additionally, yesterday we received an email from the great Dr. Reynolds from Los Angeles who worked with Shayne to help determine Christi's best attempts at treatments MANY times over four years and who's lab is responsible for getting the cell line to grow. What a great guy! It was a bit personal, but I'll share the cell line info here:

".....I felt it was important for you to really know for sure we established a cell line from Christi. I felt John Maris should be the one to communicate this to you first and I know he has done that now. This was another reason for my silence. I would like to call and talk at some point when it is a good time. In the meantime, we have also exchanged many emails and so I feel comfortable in using this medium to tell you how sad I have been at the loss of Christi. At the same time I am inspired and grateful for your effots to give us a very valuable tool in the battle, namely FU-NB-2006....."

Early this afternoon we took Shayla ice skating in Fremont.

(PHOTO: Jennifer & Christi, Jan. 2006) We were all happy to see that Jennifer, our sweet St. Joe friend who set up the myspace prayer website for Christi, was able to meet us there too. She gave me a precious gift I will forever treasure. She made a scrapbook of the pink and white balloon releases that were held in memory of Christi in September. Captured in the book are 32 baloon releases held in Canada and twenty states in the goodl old USA! The pictures, messages and notes are simply heartwarming.

Today it also warmed our hearts tremendously out at the cemetary to find some incredibly thoughtful and loving gifts left on Christi's grave. On our way home from skating today Shayla told us she wanted to go to the cemetary. Shayne said, "It's going to be a bit of a drive, we're on our way home." Shayla responded, "I don't mind. I can wait a bit to go there." At Christi's gave, Shayne and I had tears gushing down our faces, but Shayla actually seemed to be very happy. During our Hail Mary prayer, which Shayla selected, she stared up at the sky. Then Shayla thought we needed to bring a few things home to put in her room (darling statues of cats and Santas). She also wanted to bring back a little buckeye in a plastic bag. Written on the outside of the bag was: "Your life with be judged not by its length, but by your strength," the quote Shayne gave her in Philly when she was creating her little game / fortune flipper thingy. To see all of the items, a few clearly written in children's handwriting, was very moving.

I have two great Funeral Funnies to share, but today I'll just share a "Shayla Funny" that happened Thursday night......Shayne and I had just crawled into bed and we had no idea Shayla was sitting on the floor at the side of our bed, petting Buttercup. We were talking about financial issues and I jokingly said to Shayne, "Oh, great and we're going to end up moving into the Twin Pines Motel!" Suddenly we heard of squeal of delight and with great excitement and enthusiasm Shayla jumped up on top of us screaming, "What?!! We're going to the Doubletree Hotel?!!!!" (You have to live around here to be familiar with the Twin Pines Motel, but sadly it's a very, very low budget motel not in good condition and it appears that less fortunate families stay there for long periods of time. One the other hand, Shayla remembers the grand downtown Philadelphia Hotel "The Doubletree Hotel" where we could sometimes stay for $99.00 a night when the Ronald McDonald House was full. When you check in you receive warm cookies, the lobby is grand and there is a swimming pool - very different from The Twin Pines Motel. Hey, it just hit me I know where I can buy some presents that I wanted to buy for Christi and drop them off!