Bathroom
Again, I believe if I am writing about redocrating our downstairs bathroom I must be doing fine. I am! My stomach hasn't been the best today, but I made it through a day of school ok! And anyway it helps take my mind off of what were were going through two years ago at this time. I refuse to let myself calculate out the days as the anniversary of her death approaches, but I look at pictures like this and wonder, "How did she only live 14 more days?" I think she looks great. At that point I really thought she'd live until mid-October. If I would have believed the time was so short, I think I may have had different conversations with her. I don't know....the topic of "death" was always so touchy and downright terrifying for me. I thought my job as a mom was to project her and talking about THAT would scare her. Oh, I second guess myself all the time. I know Shayne wishes he would have had "that talk" with her. At the time, I was so glad it never happened, but now I wonder.....
Well, what was started in April has recently been completed. I love it!
posted by the Thomas team @ 6:45 PM
11 Comments:
You know Angela, Christi was SO intelligent that I can't help but think that she KNEW. Maybe she was trying to protect you and Shayne. Don't beat yourselves up over it, you did the best you could think of at the time and have to believe that, even now, that WAS the best!! Christi was SO lucky to be born into the Thomas family; and you were SO lucky to be her parents.
Love & hugs from CA,
Pat
If Christi were not sitting in a wheelchair in that photo, she would look like the picture of health. How very sad that her days were so short from the time of this photo...
The bathroom looks fabulous. Very elegant. Love that you added the photos on the wall, too.
The bathroom looks great! Glad you made it through school okay. Good luck with surgery next week. I will keep you in my prayers!
My heart just catches in my throat at the thought of that talk. I'm sure you said every last thing that needed to be said to her. It is so obvious from reading your blog how much your love that little girl, and that is all she needed to know. What a brave, brave girl she was.
The bathroom looks really pretty! You did a great job on it.
Hope you are going to stay feeling ok until the operation! Misery-making!
Those are lovely photos of you and Shane in your bathroom - the one at the Louvre I can place - but I am stuck for the top one - is it in Rome? [a variation on the guess where the Thomas team "are" exercise!]
Irene
"Bathroom", Christi's last word.
Love the new bathroom. I am hoping to have mine done soon too.
As for "the talk", it seems to me that if Christi felt she wanted to have such a talk, she would have. Such an intelligent and mature girl would have found ways to make her needs known to you. You are right though, she looks just beautiful in that photo you posted. It is so hard to believe she is gone. I still sometimes struggle with trying to understand it all. It just doesn't make a lot of sense.
Anyway, I hope Shayla is loving school and you are getting through each day well too. I'm glad your feeling better and hope the surgery goes well. You're always in our prayers,
Aimee
www.caringbridge.com/ny/kendall
I'm glad to see that your toilet paper comes over the top.... I like you even more now.
I ran across Christi's story today very much by accident, but maybe there was a higher purpose. I know we don't know each other, but I must say you have to be the strongest parents I could ever imagine. I lost my grandmother to cancer over a year ago, and while I know that that in NO WAY compares to loosing a child to that awful disease (I have a three year old daughter myself), I was with her during her final days and holding her hand in her final moment, reading her books, telling her we loved her and it was time to go...all the things you went through with Christi. To this day thinking about it breaks my heart and makes me a little sick inside and she was 85, so I can't even begin to imagine what you must have gone through. Stay strong, as it seems you have always been, and know that you and Christi and Shayla will be in my prayers tonight. After reading such a remarkable, touching and heart-wrenching account, I made a modest donation to Christi's fund. It's all I can afford right now as I am trying to start a business, but I hope it helps. With the grace of God and the hard work of many dedicated and selfless individuals we will erradicate this disease and many other forms of cancer, and Christi will have been a part of that turning point. May God bless you and your family and thank you for sharing your story.
Sincerely,
Aleshia Bonilla
Longtime reader, infrequent commenter. Blessings to you all, and Angela, I had my gallbladder out in 1999 (Age 13) and have felt much better in the 9 years since!
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